Banishing Uncertainty
by Jade-Max
Summary: Set during book 5 of the Manga - Mamoru reassures Usagi after she voices some uncertainties and insecurities regarding Chibi-Usa and her own role in his life... Rated M for adult situations and content


June 2008

Disclaimer: Sailor Moon is property of Naoko Takeuchi and this is her sandbox - I'm simply destroying the sandcastles; or adding a turret or two.

**Rating: M - for adult situations/Hentai**

Notes: This Vig is inspired by the scene in the Manga (Book 5) where Usagi and Mamoru are in his apartment with Chibi-Usa sleeping in Mamoru's bed. Mamoru reassures Usagi after she voices some uncertainties and insecurities, going so far as to lie her down on the floor and "reassure" her of his love. The artwork can be interpreted many ways - did I mention I love the artwork of the Manga? - and the pure... _passion_ displayed by Naoko Takeuchi in Mamoru and Usagi's relationship gets me every time and so, based on that scene (and the translations I've seen) this piece is a homage to that...

The dialogue is from a fan translation I've read of the original Japanese (I like certain parts of it better than the official version - if this is your translation _please_ let me know since I can't remember where I found it years ago!) - and expanded to fill out the scene since I adore the imagery.

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**Banishing Uncertainty**

By JadeMax

Usagi waited nervously as Mamoru closed the door to his bedroom, taking a half-step away as he scaned the empty apartment. He glanced at her surprised. "Where's Mina?"

"She took Luna and Artemis home." Darting a look towards his room, she attempts to sound normal. "Hey... Do you mind if I stay here for a while longer?"

"I guess you can."

Silence fell between them for a long minute as Usagi stared at him, her stomach twisting in knots. He seemed so distant, so disinterested. Distracted by Chibi-Usa? Was she losing Mamoru to her? She swallowed the fear, attempting instead to speak with him. "I've never thought much about the future before." Her admission was hesitant. "I can't even imagine what the world would be like..."

Mamoru didn't take the bait as she'd hoped, but moved around her instead to step into his kitchen, ignoring her observation completely. Didn't he think about the future? About what it would be like in the years to come? Or was this all there was? The here and now - was this something fleeting, something that would fade? Not on her end - she knew that - but Mamoru? Was the love they'd shared both in the ancient past and in the recent past so easily shifted to another?

He poured himself a cup of coffee and Usagi turned away, walking through his living room as she gently touched the different fixtures. The book shelves, the top of the television, the back of the sofa - all fixtures of his life. Was that all she was? A fixture? Something to adorn his life until he found something more appealing? She snuck an occasional glance his way, noting how he'd poured the coffee, but hadn't yet drunk it. His hand moved in a slow circular motion, his thoughts obviously elsewhere.

On Chibi-Usa?

Looking away, she continued to move through the room, stopping by the calendar next to his phone and picked it up. August. Tracing her fingers over the dates, she looked up abruptly. "It's almost your birthday, Mamo-chan. Right? August 3rd." A smile crossed her lips, one set to encourage him. "What do you want? I'll get you anything you like!"

She drew his attention with the completely inane topic - considering the circumstances - and he stared at her strangely. "What's come over you?"

Her face fell - he _was_ thinking about Chibi-Usa. She knew it. "I just want to get you a present."

Mamoru's footfalls were soft as he moved into the doorway of the kitchen, coffee cup still in hand, regarding her intently. Usagi turned her face away, replacing the calendar as she struggled against his perceived indifference. He'd shown more consideration to the sleepy child than he did her - a sleepy child who was slowly taking her place. _Last spring I met Mamo-chan, and in the summer, I came to his place for the first time. And the bed where I slept... is where Chibi-Usa is sleeping now._

Lifting her head, she looked at the front of his shirt but not seeing it, instead seeing the little girl he'd carried there; the little girl who'd taken her place in his arms. The half step it took to close the distance between them didn't even register. "You're always thinking about Chibi-Usa." Tears laced in her voice, ones she couldn't hide, but tried to anyway as her fingers gripped his shirt. The shirt Chibi-Usa had gripped no so long ago. "Is she pretty? Do you like her now?"

A quick glance into Mamoru's face revealed a shocked, stunned expression - one he hid quickly by taking a drink from his cup. "But... she's just a school girl!"

"That has nothing to do with it!" Usagi's fingers tightened in his shirt, staring at him with luminescent eyes - eyes that expressed everything. "She's just little! She's-!"

Mamoru stared at her as she stopped, dropping her gaze to his chest. Her tone changed, dropping to a whisper. "I'm sorry... I'm acting weird... It's that girl..." Relaxing her hold, she dropped Mamoru's shirt, turning away from him, unable to look at him any longer as the reality of the situation settled over her. Shame swept through her and her shoulders hunched forward, heading for the apartment door as she tried to escape her conflicted emotions. _I'm jealous. I shouldn't be thinking about that... What about Mars, Mercury, Jupiter..._

She'd gone barely three steps before strong arms slid about her from behind, dragging her to a stop and backwards. "Mamo-chan!?"

His arms were cross in front of her, his hands gripping opposite shoulders - and then slid slowly down her arms as he pulled her back, flush against him. Reaching her hands, he turned her in his embrace. _I didn't know she was feeling like this. _

His hands slid up her back, pulling her closer and she came willingly, folding herself against him even as her arms rose to encircle him. Her head came to rest on his shoulder as he gently stroked her hair. What she was feeling spilled out unintentionally. "I'm worried - I don't want to lose you, Mamo-chan."

There was desperation in her hold on him - worry and uncertainty. His heart broke with it and the knowledge that his attentions towards a little girl had cast his love for her into doubt. He tightened his grip, embracing her more tightly to reassure her through his touch. "I don't want to lose you either, Usako."

Catching one of her hands, he pressed a soft kiss into her palm. Her fingers curled about his lips, brushing his cheek, even as she stared at him with uncertain eyes - as if doubting his devotion.

"I want to be with you always."

Sweeping her into his arms, he tipped her backwards. A testament to the bond between them, she didn't so much as gasp as the world tilted, her gaze remaining trustingly on his, his hands cradling her at the neck and back as he shifted their positions. The carpet cushioned the gentle descent as Mamoru laid her back against the floor, and to her surprise, followed her down.

Continuing to stroke her hair, his intent midnight gaze searched her face, his expression solemn as his head descended towards hers. Tilting her face, she watched him as her heart sang. This was her Mamoru; the man who loved her - the man who did everything for her.

"I want to protect you."

Their lips met and her eyes fluttered closed as the familiar zing sang through her veins, only it was intensified beyond anything she'd felt before.

This was no ordinary kiss; this was a kiss of promise and devotion - one that spoke of everything he felt and everything they shared. Not just now, but the bond between them that had lasted a millennium and allowed them to find one another again. Mamoru didn't let her go as he often had in the past, instead he deepened the kiss, allowing her to taste his desire for her - his need.

Allowing her to _feel_ how much he needed her, cared for her - desired her.

Usagi's fingers tangled in his hair even as she lifted one knee to cradle his hips with her own, sensing that something between them had shifted tonight. With his kiss and his touch, no more words were needed. He seemed on a quest, a mission - determined that she should never doubt the depth of his emotion and devotion for her. His hand came to rest high on her bare thigh and slid slowly upwards, as if testing her acceptance of his touch.

Chibi-Usa disappeared completely from her mind, as did the fate of her friends and the worry that her parents would wonder where she was. Outside matters ceased to exist entirely as Mamoru's touch inflamed her mind and body - consuming her with an intensity that was reminiscent of their previously lives. It felt wonderful... familiar... _right_.

Shifting beneath him unconsciously, Usagi twisted her hips and in that moment brought them flush together so intimately there was no doubting the effect she had on him - or the effect he was having on her. His fingers slid beneath the hem of her skirt, leaving lines of fire and promise she didn't fully understand but wanted him to fulfill.

Mamoru lifted his head, his eyes darkened by passion as they met hers. Watching her face, he slid his hand further up her skirt, the fabric bunching and shifting as he did. Unable to look away, she didn't even blush as he pulled her skirt to her hips, his fingers dipping into the band of the cloth that covered her nether regions. Her stomach jumped as his fingers brushed across it and then, instead of continuing downwards, shifted up to travel under her dress to the sensitive skin just under her breasts.

It was a tight fit.

Shifting his hand to the side, she bowed her back as his lips latched onto one sensitized nipple through her dress. She didn't feel or hear the zipper as he reached beneath her and undid it, taking advantage of her distraction.

Gasping his name, her fingers tightened in his hair. He murmured hers against her skin as he left the one nipple and kissed the exposed skin above - the swell of her breast - and then nuzzled her, taking her dress down with his teeth before latching onto the same nipple through her bra. Clutching him close, she silently begged for more, her head falling back in mindless pleasure as one of his hands splayed across her back, holding her in place, the other lifting to cover her other aching breast, teasing the sensitive nipple with his finger tips.

It made her whimper and gasp, spiraling through a storm of pleasures she hadn't dreamed were possible - and yet knew were possible all at the same time. His movements were unexpected, but anticipated, new but familiar as Usagi gave herself over to Mamoru's embrace.

His hands felt as if they were everywhere and nowhere at once, memory blending with reality and to Usagi it seemed as if they were both in Mamoru's apartment - but also lying in a bed of fragrant flowers in a secluded garden. Sounds enveloped them - the breeze as it slid through the screen door - and the sound of water as it lapped the edge of a lake. The constants were in the man who held her like a cherished gift.

The same eyes, the same touch, the same kiss - the same depth of emotion.

Her eyes fluttered closed on a moan as he pulled her dress from her body, her bra following it barely a second later, to be replaced by the feel of his mouth on her skin. Fire raced through her veins, heat blossomed under his touch. There was no shame or hesitation as her hands dipped between them, reaching for the fastenings on his shirt.

His lips returned to hers as her fingers worked frantically to bare his skin to her. A part of her mind was dimly aware that she wore only a scrap of cloth while Mamoru was still fully clothed. It wasn't fair and she set about remedying the problem. She wanted the slide of his bare chest across hers and skin against her thighs instead of fabric.

Mamoru helped her, never breaking the kiss as his hands covered hers, steadying her fingers and allowing her to undo the buttons one at a time.

Each movement brushed the backs of his hands against her chest, the gentle friction slowly driving her mad and she pressed closer, impeding the removal of his shirt, but not caring. Somehow it fell open, and the slide of his muscular chest against hers made her gasp into his mouth. Her hands shifted from grasping cloth, to rubbing against skin so warm it was almost hot to the touch.

He was all hard planes and unyielding muscle, a testament to his physical prowess and one she'd always known he possessed. Mamoru couldn't have been anything but strong with the way he continuously saved her and scooped her out of harm's way. Even now the strength in his arms was comforting, the way he held her speaking of his respect and need for her.

Her hands slid along his chest and downwards, over his belt. One hand covered hers and he lifted his mouth from hers to stare down at her with stormy eyes. Passion lined every inch of his face, restraint evident in the tension of his frame. "Be sure, Usako."

In response, she shifted her hand and _pressed_ against the bulge in his trousers, meeting his gaze squarely. She knew the basics of procreation, knew how things were supposed to work, but nothing had prepared her for the sensations spiraling through her body. Nothing had prepared her for the effect Mamoru would have on her - even the remembered passion between Serenity and Endymion was a shadow of the sensation she felt in those moments.

Mamoru's groan was cut off as he retook her lips, his hand no longer restraining hers, but encouraging as she rubbed the palm of her hand against him. The layers of cloth between her hand and his flesh created a friction that was sure to drive him mad. Her movements were hesitant at first, uncertain, but she drew unconsciously on the memory of what Endymion had liked, her fingers slipping beneath his waist band and brushing the bare tip of him.

Capturing her wrist, he suddenly wrenched it away, pinning it beside her head and shifted his grip to thread his fingers with hers. Her hand convulsed about his, squeezing his fingers as his cloth covered arousal brushed against where she was most sensitive. Gasping into his mouth, he muffled the sound with his lips, worshiping her lips as he intended to worship her body.

Usagi hooked her leg about his hip, arching into him with wanton abandon, her body begging for more as their loins ground together slowly, the fabric between them a hindrance but also sensual to a degree. It forced them to wait, to play it out - to _experience_ the sensations before taking the next step.

The friction _was_ driving him mad. Just the feel of Usako bowed beneath him, her breasts pressing into his chest as her hips cradled his and moved with him, sent his senses spinning. His free hand - the one she hadn't claimed - slid up her thigh and between them, skimming the soft flesh of her belly. The tremble and jump of her skin as he caressed her, the way she tilted her head to kiss him more fully, said she liked what he was doing.

Using past knowledge vs. present - contrary to what some believed of him, he was _not_ experienced with women - he drew on how to please her. She arched into his touch as he dipped his finger tips into the scrap of lace and traced the lips of her sex. Her head fell backward, breaking the kiss with a moan as she writhed against him, trying to get him to touch her more fully.

The buck of her hips under his hand was too much and he knew he couldn't - wouldn't - be able to tease her the way he wished just yet. She was an aphrodisiac, an addiction and in his blood fueling his passions the way no other woman ever would. Contrarily, he knew he would hurt her, but was unable to stop himself as his hand shifted from her to him, freeing the aching member of his own sex with a flick of his wrist.

Usagi reached for him and he obligingly came down atop her to kiss her once more, his aching hardness trapped between them. Her leg convulsed about his hip, drawing him closer. A simple shift of her hips, and he was cradled against her more intimately than before, her underwear the last barrier between them; a barrier that had been damp, and now turned wet as he pressed firmly into her.

In second that barrier was gone, the sound of ripping fabric lost in the sensation of flesh on flesh, her other leg bending as she unconsciously positioned herself to accept him.

His kiss was fierce, holding a note of apology as he slipped inside her, feeling her body tense at the intrusion, and he had to force himself to stop. Holding still, his body shook as he waited for her to either reject him or accept him. Tense muscles suddenly relaxed fractionally and her hips tilted, drawing him deeper, welcoming his most intimate intrusion with only the slightest of hesitation.

The sting of penetration and her sharply inhaled gasp as he breeched her virginity were lost in his kiss and unconsciously he shifted his hand from where it lay against her hip, easing her discomfort without a thought. Her body relaxed instantly as the pain dulled and vanished, drawing him deeper until they were joined completely.

Mamoru broke the kiss, his ragged breathing echoed by Usagi's as he closed his eyes and placed his forehead against hers.

There was no going back from here.

"Mamo-chan?"

His eyes opened as her cool fingers caressed his face and his ragged apology followed without thinking - his control was gone. "Gomen. Forgive me."

She opened her mouth to ask why when he stared to move. Her eyes widened, the words catching in her throat as her body reacted to his and the smoldering embers of desire flared back into volatile heat. His lips covered hers once more, swallowing a moan that was sure to wake the little girl sleeping in the next room.

Usagi whimpered, writhing beneath him as her hips undulated to meet his, her inner muscles clenching as heat flared and exploded in the pit of her stomach. Her head tilted backwards, and she was only dimly aware of Mamoru's hand on the back of her head, preventing her cry from echoing through the apartment as he maintained a bruising kiss.

His whole body tensed as she was coming down from the euphoric high and then shuddered in her grasp, his own cry lost to the velvet depths of her mouth.

The kiss broke as Mamoru slumped forward, forced to brace himself on his shaking forearms so not to crush her, his head dropping as he inhaled raggedly. His heartbeat echoed in his temples just as he could feel Usagi's pounding where her chest met his. Her breathing was returning to normal, and her hands - hands that had unconsciously encouraged and caressed him, were now shyly sliding up and down his sides.

Yet, he couldn't pull away.

"Mamo-chan?"

He forced himself to lift his head. "Gomen, Usako."

Her smile was shy. "What for?"

"I hurt you."

"Iie, Mamo-chan." Shaking her head, she framed his face in her hands. "You completed me. Aisheteru."

"Aisheteru, Usako." He leaned down to kiss her again. "Aisheteru."

_fin_


End file.
